The day I grew up

Today I grew up. I sent out my first collage application, and I'm feeling okay. A little dizzy and quite honestly out of breath. I'm realizing nothing will ever be the same after I graduate. I'm worried the world will never be so beautiful and I'll start to see things like every other person that work from 9-5.

My bones talk, but do I still listen? I have no clue what I'm doing with these damn collage applications and I am trying to figure out where I'll be living a year from now. I CAN HEAR MY BONES SCREAMING. They aren't making any sense or I'm just on a different frequency, but I can hear something and I can feel even more. It's like panic and fear all wrapped in one.  Every now and again I can make out a word to two, today this is as far as I got;

DONT ....LEFT.... BEHIND....

And then the static came back and I couldn't hear the rest. My heart is making it hard too, with all the beating in my ears, making It impossible to  understand my bones. All my bones do is translate for my heart but my bones are saying the wrong things, so my heart try's to scream over my bones hoping to get me the message. It just makes it harder. I hear it gets better. I also hear lying is a sin.

I'm sick of all of these feelings.

I just want to be.

Without all the bullshit.

Yours,

Peter Van Houten