Like a bullet from a gun

I can't remember the last time I knew where I was going. And I think I want to be myself again but I'm not sure who that is. Someone told me I'm on the real world now, and I think I got locked in. Greens not a creative Color here. That cannot be true though because green makes me write about dinosaurs invading Mars, to save the one they love. And green makes me think of four leaf clovers and leprecons. And green makes me feel like falling in love. Where can I see the rule book for this 'real world' I've been hearing about. I came out of high school like a bullet from a gun, and I'm still trying to figure out who pulled the trigger, let alone raised the gun.